


The Light Behind Your Eyes

by apieformydean



Category: Bandom, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance, The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: Danger Days headcanons, Gen, I love Grace Jeanette so much, Killjoy Family, MCR Drabble, Oneshot, Post-SING, Probable crying, Sad, This fic is gifted to her, To the little sister of all of us, all the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:29:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4522002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apieformydean/pseuds/apieformydean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She wanted them back. It was not fair that they would never come back. It just wasn't. In Dr. D's stories and tales it were always the good guys who won and lived, so why was reality different?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Light Behind Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This one was inspired by and written while listening to Grace Jeanette's cover of MCR's 'The Light Behind Your Eyes' (which is so beautiful omfg if you haven't listened to it yet, you totally should! warning: you'll cry. like a baby. i'm not kidding)

The Girl screamed and sat up in her bed. She realied after a moment she was safe, in her new room, but it didn't calm her the slightest bit. Her little heart was beating so fast in her chest she was sure it would break through her ribs, so she wrapped her arms around herself tightly. She shut her eyes as well, trying to hold back her tears but they escaped and ran down her dirty cheeks anyway. Her ears were ringing and she bit her bottom lip to silence her sobs.

Another nightmare. It was two weeks after her rescue mission, and she had nightmares every day. Two weeks since she lost everybody she considered family. Dr. D believed she was too young to understand what happened, so they didn't talk about it, which hurt her even more. She knew she had to pretend she was stupid, like she didn't know her family would never come home. Show Pony and Dr. D moved her to the main base of Zone Eight, but it wasn't easy to do so. She loved their diner so much, and the older man knew it, but there was no one to take care of her there, so there was no other option. The Girl took everything she could with her, and when the Doc gave her a small room to have a place where she could sleep, she stuffed everything in there. All the walls were covered by Kobra's old and torn posters, Ghoul's dusty stereo stood next to her bed, the albums that once belonged to Poison by the wall and she was covered in a ripped flag-like thing that was once Jet's.

That's where she was sitting now in the dark, only some neon lights from the hallway illuminated her tiny room. She was trying to keep her sobs down, hugging herself tightly. She rocked back and forth, breathing heavily, lips trembling.

She dreamed about the boys again; her heroes. She knew all along that they would come and rescue her. She was ready to hop in the Trans Am and show the Draculoids the finger, which she knew was bad and she shouldn't have ever done it, but she was also aware Ghoul would have let her do it just that once. And they would drive away and she would happily tell Show Pony all about her adventure and he would tell her it was very funny and they would laugh. Jet would say his car was the fastest in all Zones and Kobra and Poison would joke about it being the oldest as well.

She was so sure it would happen this way.

Yet here she was, crying beacuse in her dreams she saw all her heroes die again, in front of her very eyes, and she couldn't save them. They always saved her, but she didn't do it just once, when they really needed her. She felt like she wasn't even part of the family, because family meant nobody gets left behind and she left the boys behind. She sobbed, and now she didn't even care who heard it. All the other Killjoys must have been out on a raid or sound asleep, so she pushed her face in her pillow and cried. It still smelled like the old and dirty diner, and the crying shook her even more now. She wanted them back. It was not fair that they would never come back. It just wasn't. In Dr. D's stories and tales it were always the good guys who won and lived, so why was reality different? The boys were the best people The Girl knew. She couldn't recall much about her late mother now, but she realised the Fabulous Four were her real parents. Parents keep you safe and feed you and tug you in at night, don't they? They did exactly that. Every day and every night. The Girl was now practically screaming in her pillow. In a corner of her mind she remembered moments like that one of the boys always came rushing in her room and sing her to sleep. It was usually Poison, but the others did it sometimes, as well.

It was clear she and the redhead boy had something special. He was the one who she looked up to the most, he was the first she would look for when she had a problem. He was just her favorite. She also adored his voice, which could always calm her, no matter what an awful nightmare she had. At that time she usually dreamed about the Draculoids who burned their house back in Battery City and took her mother. Now she wanted those nightmares back, because they seemed almost pleasant compared to those she had nowadays.

She was now silently weeping, pillow totally soaked under her face so she turned her head to the side. Now she could breathe and slowly calmed down. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, but her heartbeat would eventually normalise. When she trusted her knees wouldn't give up if she stood up, she carefully got out of bed and walked to the box of albums next to the stereo, socked feet silent against the wooden floor. She flipped through some of the albums, exactly knowing what she was looking for. After some moments of searching, she found the bright red CD case.

She turned on the stereo - and was slightly surprised when it actually lit up, because they only had energy every now and then - and placed the CD in it. When it started playing, she hurried back to her bed and wrapped herself in her flag again.

She could hear the notes on piano and when Poison's voice started to sing, she felt all her muscles relax instantly. She closed her eyes and just listened.

They recorded this song like a year before, in Dr. D's studio when they found a keyboard dumped in a container on one of the raids to Battery City. It was The Girl's favorite song, because Poison always singed her to sleep with this one, even on her worst nights. Once the Fabulous Four had to go on a mission for several days, and they made this CD for her so she would have it by her when she had nightmares.

It was as effective as always. Her head hurt and eyes were puffy from crying but she was slowly able to drift to sleep because she knew it would get better. If anything, from her boys she learned that there's no such thing as a 'hopeless case'. Even if you're alone, or feel like you're not enough. There's always hope, you just have to find it and hold onto it for ever.

 

_~ 10 years later ~_

 

The Girl wakes up to crying and pulls out her gun as soon as she does. The voice comes from one of the back rooms of the diner and it's muffled but she has excellent hearing so she doesn't miss it. She hops off the counter she's been sleeping on, and silently walks up to the door of that room. The diner is dark at night, all the neons are long dead, but she knows the way to the rooms by heart anyway.

Opening the abovementioned door, she steps to the bed instantly and leans down to the small figure lying there.

The little boy is curled up into a small ball, holding on to his comforter as if his life depends on it, crying into his hands. He doesn't even realise The Girl until she sits down on his bed. She reaches out and caresses his cheek lightly and the boy jumps a bit. He's obviously not used to kindness these days, but really, who is?

She found him in the desert, dehydrated and only barely living. He was about seven or eight and very frightened. She took him to her diner, and gave him water, food and some clothes that weren't as hot as the ones he was wearing, from the city. When he was in a better condition, he told her he was living with his grandmother and little brother, but they were gone when he got home from school and he was taught that whenever that happens, he had to run. 

She recalls the boy's name is Gabriel. Or Greg? Something with G.

"Hey, little tumbleweed." she speaks softly, combing his hair with her fingers. "You had nightmares, didn't you?"

The boy just nods once, still not letting go of his comforter. "They took Mikey..." he murmurs. "I want him back. I want my brother back..." he speaks, but brakes down crying again. He is sobbing, little body shaking. The Girl knows he will probably never see them again. An odd, familiar feeling spreads through her veins, and she has to swallow.

She thinks about the boys every day. They must have been about her age when they found her. She was some years younger then than the boy in front of her, but they took her in, and it saved her life. There's no way she'll leave the little boy alone. She was not raised that way.

She should introduce him to Dr. D, too. She decides the sooner, the better.

"You should sleep." she tells the boy, knowing that won't be so easy. "I have to take you to meet somebody tomorrow."

"But I can't." the boy says simply, voice hoarse from crying, but at least he's not shaking now.

"Tell me, how can I help you, then?" she asks, caressing his back now, and she feels he slowly relaxes into her touch.

"Could you... sing?" he asks shyly. "Grandma always does that. Me and Mikey... we like it." he mutters, last words cracking a bit.

He will be okay, she knows that. Won't forget his loved ones, but that's not a problem in her opinion. Some people should not be forgotten.

"Yeah, I can do that." she nods softly, and tugs the little boy in, before quietly starting to sing the only song she knows that will put him to sleep. " _So long to all my friends..._ "

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and sorry for all the feels :'c <33


End file.
